Sometimes, I really think a lot about life. Like how will I be in future? How many kids will I have? How much will I be earning? How will my parents be coping when they are old? Many questions. Many uncertainties.

I've made many conversations about life with my best friends. We all have dreams. The greatest dreams. But I wonder, how many of us can achieve what we want? And all of our talks about life mostly revolve around ourselves and our careers. What about love, friendships and family ties?

So I thought to myself, what exactly is the most important to me. Then I use my choice of university course as an example. Through my poly years, I didn't touch much on numbers. My course was mainly about ideas and presentation. I love and enjoyed marketing. Then I thought, I needed more money in life. So banking and finance would be a better way out for me to earn big bucks. A decision between passion and money. I chose money. I've no idea how much or how long can I do this but I hope it will be long enough to get me sufficient money to do very much where my interest lies.

Then I reflect on what I have been doing since holidays started in Feb. Going overseas, enjoying and slacking every single day away with my own friends. But recently, guilt struck me. I realised I haven't spending time with my own family. What on earth was I doing. So mother's day was the perfect day for me to pamper my mom. I brought mom to a jewellery shop, got a necklace for her, and mom was so happy. I pause and reflect again. If Mom can be such a happy woman with a single gift, what about me?

So what exactly am I chasing for in life? Money? I don't know but I'm trying to set priorities right now.

I really think that I'm strong enough to handle most stuffs that come to me. But why is it that I just can't overcome love. It's such a huge burden. I tried, tried so hard but it just don't work. I don't know what's the best way out but I just know that I feel awful everytime I think of you. 

Rooster - Deep and meaningless

I..., I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had

Damn that's sad